when i was quite young,
my mother began to give me a gift.
a very important gift.
one that has
(i have come to believe)
made much of my life
what it is.
this gift has
infiltrated every aspect.
encircling all that i am.
since i was just a wee girl,
my mother began to give
the gift
of voices.
of women.
of her friends.
a community of mothers.
i wonder,
did my mother know?
that she didn't have to raise
her daughters alone?
that we were meant for community?
that a young girl would need
many voices?
and so my mother invited others in.
she didn't have to.
she could have held tightly
and let no one else join.
but she didn’t.
she held me
and all the possibilities of
who i would become
wide, wide open.
open to life.
open to a community of mothers.
when i was young,
the mothers' voices sang words of praise
delighting in my heart
and telling me i was beautiful.
laughing at my jokes and spunk.
did my mother know?
that my very being would soak it up
and hold tightly to those words?
the words flowing from my
community of mothers?
i remember
hopping from lap to lap
amongst my community of mothers,
but it was my mother's lap
and her scent
that was home.
and there i would rest my head.
and when i grew,
and went through the years
when i couldn't hear my mother's voice
[as we girls seem to do].
did my mother know?
that it would be my community of mothers
whose words i would allow in...
to remind me
of who i was
that i was loved.
that i was not alone.
did my mother know?
that the community of mothers
would hold me
when i refused to let her arms cradle me
or her words console me?
because we must walk together.
we are not alone.
not as mothers.
and not as daughters.
as more years distance me
from my childhood
have i began to realize
how unique
and truly blessed i am
to have been given so many voices
to tutor me in the ways of life.
now as a woman,
i stand amongst these women
shoulder to shoulder
eye to eye.
and i call them friends.
but to me,
they hold a sacred part
of my story.
of my being.
and so they will always be
my community of mothers.
as mother's day approaches
i want to name them,
and thank them.
for loving me.
for standing around me.
for calling me into more.
my community of mothers...
to sherry:
who continues to brightened my
imagination to the world out beyond
over & over.
* * *
to kim:
who has named the
god within me.
over & over.
* * *
to kristin:
who has listened.
who has asked me
questions.
who has reflected back to me
what she sees
when i struggle
to see myself
over & over.
* * *
to viv:
who has blessed me.
over & over again.
* * *
to hallie:
my friend who tutors me
in what it means to possess a
mother's fierce
love for her children.
* * *
to my mother's mother:
who has sang me the songs
of my ancestors.
* * *
to my mother:
strong, resilient, grayed,
brave, passionate, bold and tender.
my words cannot surmise it all.
but mom,
thank you for showing
life is better with others.
and together is better.
thank you for holding me loosely.
and giving me
a community of mothers.
with love & a grateful heart
to my mother
and to so many women,
your daughter.
* * *
natalie is currently
living, biking and writing
to read more of her beautiful writing.
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